


Wingwoman

by Coraleeveritas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coraleeveritas/pseuds/Coraleeveritas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the J/B ficathon with the following prompt</p><p>Brienne is Jaime's really inept "wingman," which is good because Jaime realizes the only woman he wants to be picking up is Brienne</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sbarmarj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sbarmarj/gifts).



> Well I wrote this even though I'm  
> not great at humour unless it's unintentional.
> 
> Nothing is mine as usual

Well I wrote this but I'm not sure it's anywhere close to what was wanted and now I'm not sure what else to add.  (I'm not good at humour unless it's unintentional)

 

"That one", Jaime pointed across the crowded room to the bar and from the opposite side of the table Brienne sighed in response.

"Which one?" she asked, scanning the line of attractive feminine heads she could make out from her vantage point.

"The blonde", Jaime sounded certain, but then again if he'd really wanted to he could have gone up to any of the women in the bar tonight and there would be a vast majority that would have been happy to go home with him.

"Which one?", Brienne repeated, pushing herself out of her seat a little in the hope that she could see whoever it was that had captured her friend's attention.

"Tall blonde on the corner."

Brienne scanned again, until her gaze settled on Jaime's intended target, the woman in question not being at all what she was expecting.

"Are you sure?" she asked, a little concerned that he was trying to set her up for a fall, "Isn't she a little...?"

"A little what? Are you honestly trying to tell me what kind of women I like now wench?" 

Given the right inflection his words could have been intended for harm, but instead he just sounded amused that Brienne would actually be paying enough attention to care.

She only shrugged in response, their friendship being so cemented now that she rarely felt hurt when Jaime was in this kind of mood. "She's just not your usual ...", she paused, trying to come up with the right word that would convey exactly how she felt about him continuing to involve her in his desire to pick up women. "Victim."

"I'm wounded", he laughed, left hand going to rest over his heart, "Though I can chose another one if you're not up for it."

"Who said I was backing down?" she shot back at him, her hackles raising a little at the challenge.

"Well have at it then."

Brienne didn't move, just sat and watched as Jaime smiled, as if one grin could get her to do his bidding without a second thought. He may have been attractive, and god he had stopped her heart on occasion, but this must have marked the twentieth woman or so he had asked for her help with. 

"Go on, I haven't got all night", he waved her off but Brienne forcibly stayed put, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Translation, you want to get laid."

"Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Instead of you putting them in mine?"

 

Brienne Tarth had originally met Jaime Lannister at summer camp the year she had started college. She'd been barely 18, a ridiculously shy girl brought in to help with the horses while he'd been the star of the place at 23. Though not a young man that was easily liked they had developed an utterly bizarre relationship from the beginning, going from visible hatred to an antagonistic back and forth that managed to keep them both on their toes over a succession of summers.

And now ten years later they were still hanging out together, closer friends than ever due to all the ups and downs life had brought them, especially since the car crash that had led to his right hand being amputated. It was this little insecurity, though she knew he would never admit it, that had led him to somehow co-opt her into acting as his 'wingman'. 

That wasn't to say that she actually enjoyed the nights he called and dragged her out to bar hop like students, both of them much too old for the lifestyle, but she understood that if adults could still have best friends the way kids did, he was most definitely hers and that sometimes meant a little support was needed.

Brienne hadn't yet been successful at picking up the women Jaime chose, always blondes, and if it hadn't have been for his shit eating grin every time she failed to complete her mission she might have even begun to feel a little sorry for him and his libido.

She'd never ask him to return the favour though, the only time he had offered had ended up with her misjudging her strength a little and Jaime ending up with a fist sized bruise on his upper arm for a few days. He had embarrassed her at every situation for that hit, going out of his way to wear short sleeves for a week even as the temperature dropped, letting anyone who came close enough know how violent his friend was.

 

Brienne downed the rest of the beer in front of her in preparation for another faltering conversation, Jaime's by his protestations, but if this finally went all to plan then he wouldn't really be complaining much about a quarter of a glass.

"Bring me back a good one wench", he snatched the glass back off her, cold fingers hitting warm ones momentarily.

"You know this would work better if you moved your arse and chatted them up yourself."

Jaime Lannister was gorgeous, always had and apparently it seemed he always would be. Brienne had kind of hated that at first, the pretty man with the sharp tongue making her feel even more homely and hideous in comparison. She was taller, broader and uglier than him, and while she had grown to appreciate the height, Brienne could do without others drawing too much attention to her faults, chief among them the freckles that dappled her skin.

He was so pretty that it wasn't as if the thought that she could be a little more to him than a friend hadn't crossed her mind, that one day she'd drink a little too much and risk her luck to kiss him. But after that they could never go back and she'd rather not throw their friendship away when he rejected her clumsy advances.

He waved his handless arm at her as she still hadn't moved from the table, "It's more interesting to watch you."

Interesting would not have been her way of describing it, embarrassing, ridiculous or maybe to his juvenile mind, amusing but definitely not of interest. Unless someone was writing a 'how not to date' guide.

However the challenge had been offered and she wasn't stepping out of it now, much like every other time he had pushed and prodded her into approaching a woman he fancied.

As Brienne got closer to the bar she could see the blonde was the tallest of the women she had almost had a conversation with, built like a swimmer or a rower maybe. Although not quite as delicate as some of Jaime's choices, she had a pretty face and deep, dark eyes. 

Not too long ago it had been all showy, leggy young women with shiny golden hair and fine features, their eyes full of scorn as the giantess tried to get noticed. Lately though they had been taller, a little less curvy though under the dim lights she could never make a judgement on a handful of other things. 

"Is this seat taken?" she asked the other woman as she pointed at a vacant spot.

"Oh", Brienne thought she saw the blonde jump, "No, it's yours."

She tried to pop herself gracefully onto the stool, but grace wasn't in her nature and as soon as she touched the leather seat Brienne almost slid straight off and onto the floor. Catching herself with a hand on the bar she stumbled over her own name. 

"Jeyne", the other woman seemed distracted, trying to act as polite as possible without actually paying Brienne too much attention.

Brienne turned, a half check on her friend, and managed to chink two glasses into each other, sloshing dark liquid all over the shiny wood and the arm of her jacket. She needed to be smoother, Brienne reminded herself, more like him if this was going to be a case of twenty-somethingth time lucky.

"Are you here with ... friends?" she really had no clue why he didn't want to be doing this himself, at least he actually had some experience.

"Oh, no. I work around the corner."

Ok, so far so good, Brienne thought, though as this had never really got much past this point before she wasn't really sure how she should continue.

There was an uncomfortable silence before she found the words to be able to speak again, "It's a nice place."

"Yeah."

Maybe this would be easier if she just went for the jugular. "My friend really likes you" she cringed, her phrase sounding like she was back on the school yard. 

"He's over there", she pointed in the general direction where Jaime had been sitting, "He's just a little..."

Brienne thought shy didn't really work, and telling the other woman that he was sometimes an arse wasn't going to win any favours. The only word that seemed to fit was 'Jaime', but that wouldn't be helpful.

"Your friend?" the woman sounded skeptical as she peered into the almost darkness.

"He's..."

"I'm sorry", Jeyne told her as she picked up her bag, "I'm just not interested, I'm sure you're lovely but I don't go that way."

Face burning, Brienne slid off the stool and watched as Jaime clapped her slow crawl back to the table.

"That was probably the worst one yet. Just when I think I've set the bar at a certain level you always go and exceed my expectations."

"Shut up", Brienne sat down with a thud and leaned her head to the cool table top.

"Why?"

She pulled her head up and glared, "Can we call it a night, I think I've been humiliated enough today."

"One more."

"Jaime?!"

"One more I promise, then I'll find someone for you."

"I don't need someone, I'm not as interested as you in having a one night stand."

"Sure? You're so wound up it would probably do you the world of good to get your hands around some guy who's name you could forget in the morning."

She shook her head, ignoring most of what Jaime had just said to scan the crowd again. "So who's the girl?"

When he didn't reply she turned back. "Which one?"

 

Jaime shrugged, figuring if his friend hadn't worked out why his tastes had changed recently she was even more oblivious then he thought. It had taken him a very long time indeed to come to terms with everything, ten years was a hell of a stretch to mess up if he played this wrong but watching her stumble around for the past few months only to help him out had finalised his decision.

"You. I only want you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By request I guess, I only hope I haven't spoilt it.

Brienne let her head fall back to the table, trying to hide the extra heat that had just flown to her face. Embarrassing herself to stop Jaime's continued moaning about a lack of human contact was one thing, when it originally was brought up it seemed to be the right thing for a friend to do, much like the time he had punched a guy out for calling her a few choice names. 

However the fact that his words had caused her heart to speed up slightly was more than aggravating, mainly because it still felt like he was playing a game.

"Stop teasing", she grumbled, knowing that although she'd been the only woman in his home since the accident and their friendship had lasted longer than any relationship he'd had since they met, she would probably be the last person he would actually want in his bed.

"What if I said I wasn't?"

He couldn't be serious, Brienne thought, people didn't wake up after ten years and suddenly discover they were in love with their best friend. Or lust or whatever else she saw in Jaime's dark green eyes when she finally picked her head up off the table.

"You're drunk." Brienne guessed, knowing fine well he wasn't but it would be as good an explanation as any to allow them to forget what he'd just said. "Even though you know I'm going to advise against it, if you really want me to try again with another girl I'll let you owe me one."

Jaime prodded back, "So you're not telling me there's another reason this hasn't been working, I mean other than your shocking lack of ability to talk to strangers? Like maybe wench, you've actually been screwing this all up on purpose?"

"I have not!"

Brienne shook her head as she heard how Jaime had goaded her into that response. Letting out a deep breath, she focused on anything but him, scanning the now packed crowd for a blonde he might have actually liked and sent her off to approach only moments earlier.

"Blonde by the door", Brienne decided firmly.

Jaime cocked at eyebrow at her insistence but he turned and looked anyway. "A little out of my league don't you think?"

"You've sent me after much prettier. Remember the model?"

To his credit Jaime's responding laugh was filled with affection rather than anything crueller. "I don't think I'll ever forget the model."

Brienne rolled her eyes and began to make for the woman, hoping another mortifying experience would remove from her head the moment Jaime had maybe tried to step over their very clearly drawn friendship line.

"Brienne?" he asked, the use of her actual name causing her to turn around.

She couldn't quite remember where the wrench nickname had come from, but sometime during their first hot biting summer together it had settled. She hated it at first, hated that he couldn't even find the respect to address her correctly but by the time any sort of trust had gotten to a point to call their first temporary truce the moniker had stuck.

It had become their 'thing', so much so that when he cruelly mocked her with it after she'd volunteered to pick him up after his hospital release, Brienne had known that eventually he was going to be ok.

"I'm too convenient. You'd hate yourself tomorrow. Or hate me", Brienne explained to him as best she could while he fixed her in a predatory gaze, one she'd only seen directly a couple of times before in their entire friendship. The first being the night he'd accidentally on purpose swung by her house after she had informed him she had an actual date. 

"You really think that?" Jaime countered and he must have known he was being more infuriating that normal, turning every one of her statements into a question she didn't want to answer. Not while he was looking at her like that, not when there was a tiny spark inside that wanted so badly to believe him.

She met his eyes carefully, "No matter how long it takes, or however bad I am at it, I am going to find you somebody who can relieve", Brienne waved her hand in his vague direction, "Whatever this is."

 

"Well it can't go any worse than your last attempt", Jaime joked at her as she left, thinking that she'd been the one there for him through almost everything, the most platonic company he could have ever wanted or deserved as if the idea of more had never entered her head.

He had to let her go then, watching as Brienne determinedly avoided most of the bar's patrons to head towards the beautiful girl they'd barely agreed on.

It seemed that she hadn't seen what had been happening at all, and even when it smacked her in her ridiculous face the stupid stubborn girl denied the affections that had taken so long to surface. She wanted now to try and throw another pretty girl in front of him, as if that would cancel out all their almost leading conversations and an array of tall, strong possibilities with eyes nowhere near as blue as Brienne's.

Jaime knew deep down there were bigger problems with beauty than most people would let on, his entire family were living reminders of that fact, and he would much rather have the hulking, freckled, stubborn wench by his side over anyone.

It was just taking her longer than he would have liked, to realise that maybe having him by her side, romantically, wouldn't be all that different to what they had now.

 

Brienne tried to keep her gaze fixed straight ahead as she strolled towards the woman who was growing more beautiful with each step. The truly pretty ones had always been the hardest to talk to, mainly she guessed because they weren't too keen on being seen with the likes of her. Jaime had awful taste in trendy nightclubs much like the one they were in tonight, though before this particular arrangement had started he had reluctantly come with her to the ye olde world pub she preferred.

"Hi", she started, too quietly with the music coming on all of a sudden and her words were covered by a pounding beat. She glanced over her shoulder, a usual check, and found her friend was studying her even more carefully than usual. Brienne craned her head towards the golden amazon in the mini dress and was rewarded with the slowest of smiles, Jaime's tongue momentarily swiping along his lower lip, obviously tasting one of the drinks he'd had earlier. 

The tiny gesture produced one of the rare heart stopping seconds Brienne loved and hated in equal measure and she forced herself to remember the days she'd had to almost literally pick him up and make him eat. He wasn't anywhere near as attractive or as charming during that time, and yet as many days as she could she'd appeared and tried to push him back into the land of the living.

"Hey", she started again, knowing she sounded like an utter fool. Though as there were no stools to fall off, no drinks to spill for once she thought that maybe she'd actually found a viable option.

Brienne took a step forward and felt her feet go from beneath her, skidding on whatever had been spilt and not removed successfully. She hit the woman in front of her full strength, sending the willowy blonde flying into her shocked friends.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" one of them yelled, shoving Brienne back with a small but well placed fist.

"I'm so sorry", she rushed through the apology, wondering if she should have just kissed Jaime before and ended this one way or another. "It's just ... my friend sent me over ... he's an utter idiot and ... hates approaching women."

They regarded her sceptically, even in the low lighting checking her face for any signs she was lying.

"Which one's your friend?" the tall girl was clearly the leader of the small group and seemed at least slightly intrigued by the stumbling delivery after she had checked that all her jewellery was still in place. 

"Blond. Five o clock", Brienne turned and sent Jaime a sarcastic smile and wave and he met her with one of his own.

"Oh he's hot", the girls cooed, like it was some great surprise that the unattractive girl who had approached them could have a friend who looked like Jaime.

"What's wrong with him?"

The question hit her like a slap in the face, "What's ... wrong ... with him?"

"Yeah", the other blonde replied, suddenly not quite as attractive as she laughed, "No offence but guys like that don't, well they don't send messengers like they're in middle school unless they've got some serious problems."

Brienne suddenly realised she was worse at picking for Jaime then she was at picking up. Feeling the urge to defend him to the vapid girls she was surrounded by, she opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"He's ..."

"Yeah", the prettier girl made a face, "I'll take my chances elsewhere, thanks."

 

Well that hadn't taken long, Jaime thought as he watched Brienne stomp back to him. As she got closer he saw that she looked furious rather anything close to embarrassed.

"Those little girls didn't smack you about did they?" he asked as she hovered over him, aiming for joviality but there was too much concern in his tone for the lighter emotion.

Brienne narrowed her eyes at him, but she knew as well as he did that he would never back down, "As if they could."

"That's my girl", he beamed, reaching for her as platonically as he could manage.

As his good hand hit an unexpected softness at her hip, Jaime didn't just imagine her hard expression lifting.

"If you're messing with me I will kill you."

"I wouldn't expect anything less", he paused to look Brienne straight in her astonishing eyes, "But I'm not."

He heard her sigh, even over the chatter and music, as she bent her face down to his. 

"You better not be", she whispered at him, half a second before Jaime's lips met those of his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is lovely. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
